Time is running short and I am up and down all the time. Somedays I am so ready to go home or go to a new area and then within an hour, Im on the verge of tears because I don't want to leave ever! Most of the time I just feel like a wreck and tyring to figure out all of these emotions and how to handle them, be a missionary, and then who am I going to be when I do come home. What goals do I have for the rest of my life??? Ah! Never enough time.
This week was so busy and I am exhausted- pday didnt exsist last week except emailing on Tuesday; then, we were busy every other day so i am so tired and behind on the things I usually get done on pday. Tuesday night to Wednesday night I was in Hanalei. It was so nice. I hadn't been up there in a few months so it was fun to see some of the people that I had worked with a long time ago. It was fun to see their few Latino members and be able to speak my broken and simple Spanish. Yep I still want to learn! On the exchange I was with a different sister that I had lived with before and it was really cool because through being with her I was able to realize that we have a lot of the same trials. I was able to feel Heavenly Father working through me to help answer her problems and also mine. I had been feeling really down a lot but being able to talk with her really helped me get back into the swing of things and back to my normal happy self :) I am just amazed that Heavenly Father really does prepare us to be the tool He needs if we are willing to submit our will to His. He will help us find a scripture, someone will mention something in passing that will stick out to us, or He will just reveal truth to our minds all so we can be a better tool in His hands. That is something that I never want to lose.
Thursday we had a miracle! A while back we had been given a list of Less Active sisters to go and see with their Visiting Teachers. Well we got super busy and so we had forgotten about the list. But we remembered and started working on it. Last week we went over to one of our members houses and talked about some of the families on her list to visit that were also on our list to see if we could all go together. Well, we found Melanie was on both of our list; so, we sent up a time to see them on Thursday. So we went over, knock on the door and Melanie was there and came right out and we started talking and she is so nice. We asked about her family and found out that she has 3 kids that have not been baptized and a husband that is not a member. Then she told us that it was a family goal to learn more about the church. (they had met with missionaries in the past but through a miscommunication they had become offended and stopped meeting with them) We set up an appointment for Sunday! Fast forward to Sunday- the whole family came and we found out that their son is good friends with Pono (who just got bapitzed) and so Pono came with us to teach as well. We taught them about how Christ's church that He had established was restored through the prophet Joseph Smith and how the Book of Mormon is our evidence that Joseph Smith was called of Heavenly Father to be a prophet. The dad had some really good questions that we were able to help him understand. At the end Melanie asked if there was any homework for them to do. Only start reading the Book of Mormon as a family and praying as a family to know if these things are true, and then comming to church. Those 3 things are what will build your faith and create the foundation of your testimony.
Saturday was awful but really good. We had 4 set lessons and by 11am all had canceled! Apparently that was not what Heavenly Father needed us to do. Sometimes I just have to chuckle or cry and think, "Maybe a little bit more of a heads up would be nice. But, okay we will work with this." So instead of those lessons, we met some awesome people. Made scones for a family that just moved here and has a daughter that is really struggling that they worry a lot about. We ended up seeing and having lessons with some people that we hadn't seen in a while. And it turned out great!
Sunday morning brought a lot of answers to my prayers/ frustrations. Saturday night was rough- Ill leave it at that and Sunday was just hard to get going and be enthusiastic. Well, we have an early morning meeting before church with the Bishop and then some of the leaders in the ward. Well, Bishop asked Sister Mottl to share a spiritual thought about never being weary of well doing. That is a very clear statement but what happens if we do begin to weary- if we just feel burnt out and tired. Then she talked about how even Christ feels all the same emotions we feel, He, though, handles those emotions perfectly. And it talks about how even Christ would go off to be alone and pray to His Father and ask for strength. Bishop then added to her thought by talking about how when Christ is in the Garden of Gethsemane he asks Peter to watch and pray. 3 times Christ asks Him this and 3 times Peter falls asleep. After the third time Christ mentions how the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Those thought were perfect for me. I want to do good all the time; sometimes, I wish I didn't have to sleep so I could get more stuff done. My flesh is weak- sometimes I am just so exhausted, I become frustrated and just cant do it anymore. But, then I remember that I can pray for strength and be renewed. I loved learning that yes, sometimes I will weary; but, I know to whom I can turn to for strength and to find peace. Right now I am tired and determined to press forward with whatever strength I am given. I love the Lord so much and I love my Heavenly Father! I love my blood family and my hanai ohanas. I love you all! Alofa iate oe! Mahal kita! Narong secolm! Poake poake yuk! Ofa atu! Te amo! Yokwe yuk! Aloha wau ia oe!
Love Always
Sister Cassidy Jean Lang
P.S. I will know transfer news next week...
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