This week has been a bit interesting for me; a lot of contemplation and just thinking and trying to figure out myself and all the emotions that I am constantly feeling. I guess you could say that I'm an emotional wreck because I am never knowing how I should be feeling.
This week was awesome considering that Sister Mottl has been sick with pneumonia this week :/ We had some really great lessons and then would come home and rest; but, I was able to go through a whole stack of papers that I had accumulated and trash a lot of them and then decide which ones I actually wanted to keep, cleaned some things, like the fan, that we never get around to... so it was time spent well I guess you could say. Something that I remember Carly saying is that it is all about our attitude... at first staying inside for long amounts of time was hard for me; but then I tried to change my attitude and start working on the things that I am usually frustrated about that never get done (like the fan and pile of papers).
I love that I have been able to see so many people be miracles in my life:
1. Pono - he still wants to meet with us every Tuesday and Thursday. This week he realized the importance of the Priesthood and is so excited that he will be able to receive the Priesthood this next week - he calls it his super power from Heavenly Father; I love that description. He also told us that as a Junior in High school he had thought about serving a mission and then realized that he wasn't a member so he pushed the thought aside... now that he is a member he wants to serve! He will be an amazing missionary in a year from now!
2. Mark - he is such a wise man. Every time we have a lesson with him I learn so much from the things that he has learned from the world and the experiences that he has had throughout his life. He will be leaving soon for Alaska and then Salt Lake but he knows that baptism is in his future but doesn't feel like he has read enough of the Book of Mormon to be ready yet. If now is not his time then maybe I will see him again after the mission back in Utah.
3. Members of the ward and our neighbors who found out that Sister Mottl wasn't well and called to see if there was anything they could do for us like bring us lunch or medicine or anything; our neighbors knocking on our door because they had gotten us some yogurt because Sister Mottl was supposed to eat a lot of it.
I have been having a lot of thoughts on love this past week as I have been doubting if I really was supposed to stay here. I just felt like I had tried all that I could; what else could I do? Then with each lesson to an investigator, less active member, or to those who just recently joined the church came my answer. I am needed here. There are people that I love with all my heart that need me and they love me in return. I think about how in my life I am so much more receptive to listen to those that I love and have a relationship with in my life than some random person telling me what to do. I have found so much love here in Kalaheo and that is my strength here. Love is the reason I stay; and for now that is enough.
Another thought that I was thinking a lot about after church yesterday came from 2 Corinthians 12:9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I see Satan working on myself and others as he brings up past stumbling blocks. We were made with infirmities; but Christ's grace is sufficient for All of us. Whether we are struggling with self doubt, alcohol, unfaithful spouses, wayward children, or keeping the commandments - Christ's strength is helping our weaknesses. My perspective changed. I used to get discouraged for my infirmities and weaknesses; but now I try and view it as an opportunity to turn to my Savior and to allow Him and His grace to lift me higher. I was reading today about King Benjamin in Mosiah 2:11 " But I am like as yourselves, subject to all manner of infirmities in body and mind; yet I have been chosen by this people, and consecrated by my father, and suffered by the hand of the Lord that I should be a ruler and a king over this people, and have been kept and preserved by his matchless power, to serve you with all the might, mind and strength which the Lord hath granted unto me." We all have weaknesses - I am the missionary and am supposed to have all the answers; but, I don't (most of the time I have no idea what to do). But it is still me Cassidy Jean Lang that has been called, and set apart to do this work here. And with that I want to serve with all the might, mind and strength that is not from me but from the Lord. Once again, I have been humbled.
I am a daughter of God - came I from the dust to do His work with the power the He gives me. None of this is from me; I am only privileged to have seen such miracles an to have been apart of His amazing work of salvation. I love my Heavenly Father and I love His children that I have met and learned from. I love the gospel that He has given me and made available to all who honestly seek for His truth. I know its true because I can feel it. I love you all; my immediate family, my friends from home and school, and I love my hanai family that Heavenly Father has given me here in Hawaii! Ofa atu! Aishiteru! Paoke paoke yuk! Mahal kita! Te amo! Alofa iate oe! Yokwe yuk! Aloha wau ia oe!
Love Always,
Sister Cassidy Jean Lang
No comments:
Post a Comment